Why So Serious?

You know those moments where you do something that you know you will regret the very next moment, or hour, or day? But you can't help it. It's impulsive and you have absolutely no control over the situation whatsoever. It's bad. You hate it, you dread it, but at the same time you long for it, and you want it. This is called, "The Anorexic craving ice cream."

This is what happened late last night, while hanging out with my awesome new college friends. As we were talking about fried chicken, I got this overwhelming desire for ice cream. Not "no sugar added" ice cream, not low fat yogurt, but a sugary, sweet, fattening Sonic Blast. So like word vomit, I exclaimed "I really want some ice cream." These particular friends happen to be very sweet gentlemen, who hopped up instantly, grabbing their keys, saying "let's go!"

Great.

So we head to Sonic, and I order myself an Oreo Sonic Blast. I knew I was going to regret this. I would spend the whole night feeling guilty and hating myself. But I ate it and enjoyed every single moment of its creaminess. I wasn't thinking about how guilty I would feel. I didn't care at that particular moment.

That's when a very unexpected thing happened. I finished the last bite of it, and I waited for the guilt to set in. I knew it was coming. However, as I waited for the voices in my head to start abusing me, I realized that hours had gone by and I still didn't feel guilty. I was awestruck by this realization. This had never happened before. For as long as I can remember, I've felt guilty over eating certain foods. But not this time. This time I ordered it, I indulged in it, I finished it, and when I was done I didn't have an overwhelming desire to purge, and I didn't instantly start beating myself up.

I made an awesome step in recovery by doing and realizing this. This made me think that if I could just stop focusing on the negative for a minute, and focus on the positive, I  may be capable of a lot more than I give myself credit for. Old me, would have seen absolutely no postitive in this situation. However, recovering me saw that there were awesome people that I was spending my evening with and I was truly enjoying myself (and the Sonic Blast).

Life's too short to be so serious all the time.

So go order a Sonic Blast with you friends. Laugh, and celebrate the world and all the fun that we are able to have.