Force Fed.

Oh yes. You did, in fact, read the title correctly. I, at 19 years old, was force fed.

 As I head to dinner, ED (eating disorder) is really talking to me, and he whispers tempting thoughts in my ear. He tells me that I can definitely get away with eating a bowl of cereal tonight. So I warily enter the cafeteria, instantly dreading the vast buffet-style food selections. I scan it quickly allowing my eyes to stop only on the cereal section that awaited me on the other side of the room. I hurriedly walk over to grab a bowl, fill it will Lucky Charms and milk, push through the crowd to grab a spoon, and weave in and out of all the waiting people until I reach my seat at the table. I sit down with my bowl of cereal discreetly eyeing my friends responses to my dinner selection and begin to eat with ED shouting in my head.

So here I am eating my cereal with two sets of skeptical  eyes on me. When I finally finish my cereal, I couldn't take it anymore. "What?!" I ask my two friends who were looking at me disapprovingly. "You have to eat more than cereal." Oh no, no, no, I think to myself. But as we sat there my belongings were taken hostage by my friends and I was told they would not be returned to me until I ate a proper dinner.
This got me thinking about recovery. Sometimes we often feel helpless and hoplessly lost. This is a common feeling in everybody at times, not just those who are recovering. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our thoughts that we need someone or something to help pull us back into reality.
I needed this for eighteen weeks while in treatment from Anorexia. I needed help. I coudn't do it alone.
This made me come to the awesome realization that there is little in this world that we can, in fact, do alone. We need to be individuals, but we also need support.
I hope that you have support.
Because we all need to be force fed sometimes.